Blog #6

Well, Im three days into unemployment and I havent gone crazy yet. I have been super cleaning my house with everyone sitting around watching me. I think when I sit back and listen to my music and retreat to my school work it keeps me relaxed. I think that music has a large effect on my life. When I feel like things are going bad for me I can sit down and just relax to my music. Listening to the beat and gathering all of the words for thought. I process better with music.

I havent resorted to myspace yet. Im sure I will when I get to board sitting at home. Im still trying to decide if I want another job. I felt like the job I was at would be where I was for the rest of my life. I just figured I would move up thru the ranks there. I stress out about holidays as it is and worry if I will have enough money to support my babies. But just trying to relax and keep focused on what I do have instead of what I have lost.

I didnt just loose a job when I got my lay off notice. I lost an extended family. My co- workers were very close to me and will remain close to me but in a different way since we all have to move on. I lost all of the clients that I worked with and all of thier distinguished personalities. But I committed myself to go back and visit once a month. It may be hard for me because the loss was great. But at least I still have the option to visit as often as I like.

I tried to watch tv the other day and still feel the same about it. It doesnt interest me at all. All of the stories about trouble and worry in the news. People not respecting the rights of others. Its not worth me watching for. So I sit back, listen to my music and think of all the good things I have in my life.

Blog #5

I have always worked hard and never took too much time off for me. Well, now I guess I got plenty of time for me. I found out I lost my job and it would end in just two weeks. All of our positions in our department were eliminated. I dont think Im so much worried about what I will do next or where I will go next. I think my big worry is about the clients I worked with in the apartments. Now instead of seeing a familuar face every day, they will only get to see someone maybe once a week. I wonder how do we keep our own mental stability through all the changes that happen in our lives. When the world throws so much instability at us all the time.

Women trying to make it in the world and no one hearing what they have to say, children growing up so fast. I dont know if I have been able to give my kids all the skills they need to make it in this world. I have empowered my children and focused on their best interest for so long but still not sure if I did it all right, all alone. I have given them all a voice and made them feel comfortable with speaking their mind and taught them in a positive way. But still I wonder if they have all that they need to make it in this world of chaos and confusion.

I am keeping a positive mind about things and hope to not go crazy through the transition of not having a job so close to the holidays. This is going to be a challange but I have never cowered to any other challanges in my life and I have always stood strong and came out on top. So here I go again.